A Dad-Sized Challenge
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Delivery in business days. Delivery and Returns. Why Buy From Us. Also, the Challenge wristband prompted a discussion with a guy from work today who is a father as well. Gave us each a chance to talk about how important it is to spend time with our kids and not to work so much. Thanks for all the great advice. The most remarkable thing happened the other night while I was having a heart-to-heart talk with my seven-year-old son before leaving on my trip abroad. He was upset to the point of tears, which is uncharacteristic of him. So I laid down next to him on the bed and shared what was in my heart.
I told him how it ached inside when I was a boy and could not be with my father. I told him I loved him very much along with affirmations. This was pleasing to see for I had forgotten how his desire to please me has caused him stress, perhaps for several months. Makes me sad and regretful I caused him stress. The good news is that children are resilient and I caught this now — thanks to your seminar so thank you.
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My five-year-old girl is just eating up the affirmations. I think my three-year-old daughter gets it but she seems too young to give visible clues, except perhaps a calmness that comes over her. I have three kids, a girl 20, a son 17 and a son 8. I started affirming my boys right after the seminar but had a hard time catching up with my daughter. I went to lunch with her last week and sat and listened to her as closely as I could and tried to not interrupt.
I remembered part of one of the sayings that you had at the back of the packet. When I spoke this to her, we both cried and I felt a bond that I never felt with my parents begin to grow with my daughter! My experience is that now my children expect me to spend five minutes with them every night and want my affirmation.
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But on this night, she noticed that I skipped the affirmation time including five minutes of talking to and listening to my children. Even my teenagers enjoy the times talking with me now. On another occasion, I was talking with the same eight-year-old daughter, listening to her tell me about a birthday party she had been to, when her sister who is ten interrupted to share something since she had been to the same party.
This is great. I recently had a situation where two of my kids were really mad at each other and fighting over some very trivial stuff in my opinion. I remembered to listen and found out they both had deep hurt and resentment toward each other because of something that they did to each other many years ago. Instead of yelling at them and punishing them for fighting, as I would have done previously, because I took time to listen and understand, I was able to walk them through forgiving each other.
It was amazing. They are really enjoying this and I am too. I have two boys, very energetic boys like their father, ages 4 and almost 2. My oldest, Rylan, is so compassionate and thoughtful while also commanding a lot of hands on attention.
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This realization has really opened up my eyes to see my oldest son as being very particular in what he wants to do. He is wonderful and really enjoys the I-have-dad-all-to-myself time. He always wants his time alone to be first; we are working on that one. My younger boy, Sidney, is a little too young to verbalize his feelings and wants but very much understands when I ask him what he wants to do.
At 22 months, he is a voracious reader of or looker at books and that is all we do some nights. It is alone, quiet time and he eats it up!
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Then there are his silly play nights where he wants to ride me like a horse, bonk me over the head, and make me fall, then pick me up to do it all over again! He laughs and laughs at this. What I have noticed the most in Sidney is that he is wanting, needing, and seeking Daddy more than he ever has and I love it because I have struggled with bonding with him—way more than with my oldest, Rylan. His new desire to bond has shown itself in the past couple of nights when he has not wanted to be put to bed by my wife though she is amazing with our boys—absolutely amazing!
And then he has rolled over onto my chest to fall asleep! This has never happened since he was born. I finally feel the bonding with Sidney that I had with Rylan at a very early age. It has been a tremendous experience to affirm my kids. I have even found myself affirming my wife. On one occasion, I affirmed my mom and sister too.
I have had to work hard at speaking affirmations to my children because it is unnatural for me to do so. I did not realize how much I was doing this. Now I am seeing so much more beauty and wonder in each of my kids. When I can, I have been kissing my sixteen-year-old son on the forehead good night. It was awkward at first, but I wanted to let him know in this way that I love him.